the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
