I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
please don't ironically join a cult
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