if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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