I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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