OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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