this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
