:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I won the penis lottery.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
