soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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