okay pat passed out under dana's car
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
