If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
