Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
