booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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