hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
