school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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