$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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