so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
