i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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