We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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