Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
