You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
