wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Quick, to the slutcave!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize