I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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