And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
