Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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