i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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