if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
