That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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