i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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