The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
