just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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