Dual....:-)
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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