You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
