i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
