if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A+ Viking dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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