He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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