it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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