I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My balls are so social today.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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