I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize