It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
