he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
