so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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