The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
