Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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