very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
