did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
