Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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