i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
