Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
