never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
