idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
