i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's blow job season.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize