I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
