ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
