so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
