Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize