so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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