you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
