So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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