It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
