Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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