....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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