So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
