I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
