i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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